The Satisfied Versus the Unsatisfied Parent

The Satisfied Versus the Unsatisfied Parent

Having coached tennis for over 30 years, I’ve witnessed thousands of matches, countless lessons, and an endless variety of emotions - not just from players, but from parents too.

What continues to surprise me is how quickly some parents are to express disappointment when their child underperforms, yet how quiet they become when their child performs well. The imbalance between criticism and praise is striking.

When a child loses, parents often feel compelled to analyse, to correct, or even to publicly show their dissatisfaction. But when that same child wins or competes with effort and heart, the acknowledgment is often minimal - a quiet nod, a small smile, and on to the next match.

The truth is, a parent’s role in their child’s tennis journey is not to judge performances but to provide unconditional love and consistent support. Children already know when they’ve played well or poorly - they don’t need a scoreboard of approval at home. What they need is stability, belief, and perspective.

Because here’s the reality: tennis is a journey full of highs and lows. Every player will lose far more matches than they win. The ones who develop resilience, confidence, and true love for the game are those who feel emotionally safe, regardless of the outcome.

So perhaps the challenge for parents isn’t to become better tennis analysts, but better supporters. Celebrate the effort, not just the result. Recognise the courage it takes to compete, not just the final score.

When love and support remain steady - win or lose - that’s when young athletes truly thrive.